Tuesday, January 31, 2012

What Would You Say...?


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Tonight my TV interview airs on our local evening news.  While I was sitting in my living room talking to the reporter a couple of weeks ago, I was extremely comfortable, but now that it is nigh, I'm a nervous wreck.  Seriously frightened. 

My biggest fear is that something I said without thinking it through could serve to discourage or de-motivate someone who is sitting where I sat two years ago.  I have hashed & re-hashed what I said & without knowing what will make the cut I'm just left pondering the coulda-woulda-shouldas. 

One of the last questions that Sonya asked me was something to the effect of "What would you say to someone that wants to get started?"  By the time we got to that point, I was getting tired & my mouth was dry & I was ready to be done.  It was the most important question of the day & I don't even remember what I said. 

I've thought a lot about it in the weeks since we taped.  What would New Sara want to say to Old Sara to spur her on & get her started?  This calls for a list!  This is what I would say to Old Sara, in fact Old Anybody who is wanting to take the first steps to shedding pounds.
  • You're worth it.  It takes a lot of time, energy, & yes, even money to shed the weight.  Prioritize yourself. 
  • The process is hard, but you can do hard things.  Anything you've ever REALLY wanted has probably been hard earned.  This is no different.
  • You cannot solve a long-term problem with a temporary solution.  If you're not willing to eat rice cakes & water for life, don't do it to shed the weight...it won't last.
  • Take the time to figure out why you got to be 269 lbs.  If you don't know what the actual problem is, how do you expect to fix it?
  • Know that losing weight is 60% what is in your head, 30% what is in your mouth & 10% what your feet are doing.
  • You did not become overweight or obese because you are stupid, lazy, dirty, ignorant or possess some other character flaw.  Stop treating yourself like a second class citizen because you have a medical/psychological issue.
  • Food is fuel; not entertainment, therapy, stress relief or comfort. 
  • Your body is meant to process food.  Give it a chance to do just that & lay off of the processed stuff--even things that are labeled "100 calorie," "light," or "diet."
  • Remember: there are no off-limits foods, just off-limits portions.
  • You don't HAVE to kill yourself in a gym to lose weight, it starts in the kitchen.  Exercise is vital for health, but weight loss is possible without it, so take your time & conquer your demons one step at a time.
  • If you have a moment of weakness, confine it to the moment & make the good choice at your very next bite--one bad meal doesn't justify a bad day, week, month, etc.
  • Sometimes ONE Krispy Kreme is a good choice in the grand scheme of things.  SEVEN Krispy Kremes never is.
  • The scale is a tool.  No really, a tool...in all its connotations.  You can flux 5 lbs in a day.  Find multiple ways to gauge your progress.  It's ok if one of those gauges is leering glances from skeevy pervs.
  • Treat yourself to at least one nice outfit as you drop sizes.  You deserve to feel good & flaunt the work that you've done, even when it's still a work in progress. 
  • If buying pre-cut veggies means you'll eat them instead of grabbing a Snickers, do it.
  • Know that if you're changing your life, you wouldn't be doing anything differently regardless of what the scale or tape measure says.  Just keep making the best choice at each "fork in the road" & it will happen.
That is what New Sara wants to tell Old Sara--what I desperately want her to believe.  It's my biggest fear that this gets lost in talk of smaller jeans & collar bones. 

Of course, my second biggest fear is that I won't look pretty in my smaller jeans--& thus there is balance to The Force.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Control


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Control
(Now I've got a lot)
Control
(To get what I want)

It's Sara...Ms. Miller if you're nasty.  That's right with this little ode to Ms. Jackson (apparently I'M nasty!), I'm having another epiphany.  I didn't realize it until just this morning, but I've been out of control.  By ceasing tracking & "not paying attention" to what I was eating, I had been giving control of my life to food.

I was feeling weary of having to jot down every bite & analyze every choice, & I thought rationalized that I would be less controlled by food if I wasn't thinking about it so much.  Wrong-o. 

In the absence of conscientious choices, I wasn't starving.  I was still eating, I just wasn't making active choices, which often (but not always) leads to poor choices.  I was eating according to the mood of the moment, which is just a whisper away from emotional eating. 

This week I no longer ceded control.  I took it.  I made good & thoughtful choices (read: not all "healthy," but all appropriate & moderate) & I tracked every bite.  Food isn't controlling me when I'm thinking about it, it's controlling me when I'm tricking myself into NOT thinking about. 

I shed 2.6 lbs this week.  In 1.6 lbs I'll be working on "new" weight & in 12.6 lbs I'll be at goal.  Control.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Party Time


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I've had a bit of a revelation this week.  This year's New Year's Resolution was "Organize 2012."  Organization is nothing more than a series of lifestyle choices...something that I know a little bit about.  So I went into it knowing I needed a plan.  I found this daily calendar that breaks down de-cluttering & organizing your home into small daily tasks.  Do-able!  Anyway, back to the revelation...

This week has been focused on storage areas.  So I've had big blocks of thinking time while I've rifled through boxes of stuff that I have been storing.  I realized that my process of getting close to goal & then sabotaging myself is like planning a party & then canceling it at the last minute.

My initial analogies were having a pregnancy & then no baby (not even close) or planning a wedding & then no marriage (still too grandiose).  I settled on party because a party isn't life changing, it's just a good time. 

I've worked hard for two years & I deserve the last hurrah on this leg.  Much like after a cancelled party, life goes on the next day.  There are some hard feelings & some bitterness, but business continues as usual, for the most part. 

I've had business as usual...now I want my party.  I know that the "journey is never over,"  & "the scale is just a number," but I need this closure.  I need to be able to say that I set a goal & I hit it.  I started something & I finished it.  Time to get to goal already. 

I took a peek-a-poo at the scale this morning & wouldn't you know?  Tracking & making good choices works.  My life would be a lot easier if I didn't insist on forgetting that from time to time.  Tomorrow is official weigh-in & then it's time to set a course for Party Time (figuratively, of course).  Much like my "Organize 2012" goal, I need a specific plan & manageable steps to get the job done...finally.