Today is the day, the last day of 2010 & the end of my ill-named but no less passionate "Overweight in '08" campaign--my goal to start 2011 with a BMI of less than 30 & thus be done with obesity. Until the last minute, I was convinced that I had failed in my quest & was doomed to start the new year with Opal & her friend, obesity.
The bad news: I didn't make my weight goal, I missed it by 0.2 lbs. The good news: I'm horrible at math & it didn't matter. I had calculated the weight I needed to get the BMI, but I had used a simplified online calculator that just wasn't accurate. As of this morning, my BMI is 29.5...OVERWEIGHT!
As I was getting weighed & having my measurements done, I had prepped myself for defeat & was busy giving myself the mental pep talk about the value of trying & setting lofty goals. Blah blah blah. In reality I was so discouraged. Even as I was having my measurements done & they were coming up great, I just didn't care. All I could think about was my BMI & my failed attempt. It didn't matter that I knew that I would still hit the goal at some point, I wanted it so bad in that moment that it was crushing. When the little gizmo popped up my BMI reading, I balled like a baby. Thank goodness for my loving Curves family understanding how hard I've worked & how much it meant to me.
This has been an interesting venture. The burden of public failure was more stressful than I anticipated. Perhaps this goal was harder than my prior mini-goals, or perhaps it was my fear of humiliation, but I was a basket case for the last three days. Perhaps it might have been good for me to fail...a dose of humiliation can do great things for one's motivation. However, I'm much happier to be able to say that I am no longer obese & I will never be that way again.
|Weight tracker & BMI printout to be framed at a later date.|