So...hi...my name is Sara & I have this little rag of a blog where I yap about the size of my butt & the size of my plate & the size of my emotions on the size of my butt & the size of my plate. Over the past year & a half, this blog has become absolutely critical in achieving & processing all of my goals...or at least most of my goals.
You see, I'm an only child (insert wise crack about being spoiled/maladjusted/introverted here). I grew up wanting a bushel basket full of kids of my own to accommodate for the absence of kids provided by my parents. Reality & old age pared my bushel basket expectations down to a more manageable number, but that number was still more than the two I was blessed with pre-New Sara.
So Dave & I had the normal convos that most couples have when they contemplate expanding their brood: where we would put a new baby & how we wouldn't all fit in our Prius & how we would adjust to Zone Defense. I knew I wanted a baby. I knew it would change things. But I didn't account for it changing my blog.
I felt guilty for WANTING to gain weight. I felt untrue to my goal weight which I would most definitely not achieve (in this sitting, at least). I felt false to the people who asked me for advice or gave me compliments. I felt uneasy about gaining weight & simultaneously comfortable doing so. Then I felt uneasy about feeling comfortable. Then I got mad that everything in my whole life comes down to weight...including adding a brand new person to the world. In the grand scheme of things aren't some things more important?
*sigh* Since I'm using a thousand words to say something very simple, I'll throw in a picture, too:
I'm knocked up & we're all thrilled about it. Really. But there are some complex things swirling around in my head that make this pregnancy different than my others. Stuff I probably need to blab about, so this blog is going to take a bit of a detour until February 2013. I've stayed away until now, first out of an abundance of first trimester caution & then out of a feeling of guilt at changing the story before coming to a good resolution on the first--because no one REALLY likes a cliff-hanger. But hang I must because now is just the right time to finish our family. And isn't family one of the main reasons that I've worked so hard to shed 120 lbs?
Family, and an excuse to go shopping--which I get to do again because none of my maternity clothes fit.