Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Gaining


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So...hi...my name is Sara & I have this little rag of a blog where I yap about the size of  my butt & the size of my plate & the size of my emotions on the size of my butt & the size of my plate.  Over the past year & a half, this blog has become absolutely critical in achieving & processing all of my goals...or at least most of my goals.

You see, I'm an only child (insert wise crack about being spoiled/maladjusted/introverted here).  I grew up wanting a bushel basket full of kids of my own to accommodate for the absence of kids provided by my parents.  Reality & old age pared my bushel basket expectations down to a more manageable number, but that number was still more than the two I was blessed with pre-New Sara.

So Dave & I had the normal convos that most couples have when they contemplate expanding their brood: where we would put a new baby & how we wouldn't all fit in our Prius & how we would adjust to Zone Defense.  I knew I wanted a baby.  I knew it would change things.  But I didn't account for it changing my blog.

I felt guilty for WANTING to gain weight.  I felt untrue to my goal weight which I would most definitely not achieve (in this sitting, at least).  I felt false to the people who asked me for advice or gave me compliments.  I felt uneasy about gaining weight & simultaneously comfortable doing so.  Then I felt uneasy about feeling comfortable.  Then I got mad that everything in my whole life comes down to weight...including adding a brand new person to the world.  In the grand scheme of things aren't some things more important? 

*sigh*  Since I'm using a thousand words to say something very simple, I'll throw in a picture, too:

I'm knocked up & we're all thrilled about it.  Really.  But there are some complex things swirling around in my head that make this pregnancy different than my others.  Stuff I probably need to blab about, so this blog is going to take a bit of a detour until February 2013.  I've stayed away until now, first out of an abundance of first trimester caution & then out of a feeling of guilt at changing the story before coming to a good resolution on the first--because no one REALLY likes a cliff-hanger.  But hang I must because now is just the right time to finish our family.  And isn't family one of the main reasons that I've worked so hard to shed 120 lbs? 


Family, and an excuse to go shopping--which I get to do again because none of my maternity clothes fit.

11 comments:

  1. Congrats! What amaziing news! LOVE the picture

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  2. Yay, congratulations! I had a sneaking suspicion this was why this place has been quiet :) I have definitely missed your posts

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  3. I'm sitting here nursing my baby reading about your baby. It's very meta.

    Although my weight journey hasn't been quite as dramatic as yours I do remember watching the scale creep up in my second trimester and when it went past the number of "the most I have ever weighted" it was scary. I thought I'll be one of those women who gains a ton of weight during pregnancy and never loses it.

    Then today, a little under two months post baby, I zipped into my pre-baby jeans. Granted they are my largest winter weight jeans, but at least I don't have to wear maternity jeans anymore. And now maybe the nosy neighbor who asked me if I only wear skirts will see that I do indeed have legs.

    I remember you liked that you could eat more while nursing and it was easier to lose weight. You'll get that boon again! Plus consider donating breast milk if you've got the extra. You can just pump what little fat you have left to loose right out and somebody's baby will be a little healthier for it. Win-win.

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    1. I'd be lying if I said that "getting to nurse off the pounds" again wasn't on my list of reasons to have another baby. :) Selfish? Probably...but I've been selfish about way worse things. Congrats on your jeans!!!

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    2. PS I love little Coraline's dress!

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  4. Congratulations! I'm so glad you are "back"...you have been such an inspiration to me!! I want to lose weight just so I can have another baby one day so it's great seeing you getting to do this!! Can't wait to start reading your posts again :)

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  5. Welcome back! You were missed!
    I'm so thrilled for your pregnancy...congrats!!!! Such a blessing! :-)
    Just remember...when you are pregnant you are not gaining weight, you are growing a baby!! :-)

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  6. It's so nice to hear from you again. Congratulations on expanding your family. :)
    I agree with Lydia about you not gaining weight, you are growing a baby. And with the help of Ursula, I'm sure you can continue to stay fit, strong and healthy while you cook this bun. You have learnt a lot over the past year and a half. You won't forget it in a hurry. Just enjoy yourself and spending time with a growing family. :)

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  7. Congrats! Being pregnant is wholly amazing but after you've worked so hard to get into shape its reality that you would have some thoughts about the weight issues, etc. but we KNOW you can do it again so enjoy your pregnancy and worry about the lbs later!

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  8. Congratulations on your pregnancy!! Much like you, after having my first two children I lost a great deal of weight (a little more than 100 lbs.)and was getting used to my new body when I found out I was pregnant with baby number three. At first I was concerned about gaining weight but then I realized that I could still eat a healthy diet, grow a healthy baby, and get back to my pre-pregnancy body since I had the tools and knowledge that I gained through my weight loss journey. I was healthier in my third pregnancy that I had been in either of the first two, remained active until the day before I delivered, and only gained 19 lbs. I didn't diet, I just was mindful of what I put into my body and into my developing baby. At 39 weeks I gave birth via c-section to a health 6 lb, 14 oz baby and within one month I was back into my pre-pregancy clothes and that was without breastfeeding. I just tell you this so you know it can be done. Just use the tools you have learned and enjoy your pregnancy.

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