Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Fresh Start


Saturday was my last first day at Weight Watchers--the last time I will walk in for the first time & feel that twinge of guiltshamenausea that comes with feeling like I failed. Even though I know that's a load of hog wash--the failure part--it still gets me.  I firmly believe that weight issues are not a reflection of character & yet here I am feeling ridiculously ashamed at where I'm at (226.8 lbs & completely out of shape, in the interest of full disclosure).  As I've been chewing on the negativity & moving into my fresh start, I realized that I'm in a very different place than I was when I first start therapizing myself with the blog.  Not only do I have a fresh start for my tush, I have a fresh start for my online diary...& of course a fresh start fridge picture!

When I first started writing about my process, I had already lost 80 of my eventual 120 lbs.  I had done most of the heavy lifting--made good habits, built positive thought patterns, educated myself about my choices.  Fast forward.  The heavy lifting is right at my doorstep.  While I waxed poetic the first time around about the things that I had done, now I get to process in real time.  It's exciting & nerve wracking.  There's more on the line when there's a possibility of fully exposed failure.

But the flip side: now I get to be pragmatic.  I get to remind myself in the thick of things about what works & doesn't work.  To get the ball rolling I'm focusing on one key behavior & one mini-goal at a time.

Behavior:  Plan Ahead 
I spent my free time last week planning dinner menus out through the middle of March & prepping food.  I put dinner plans on my calender, along with alarms set for when I need to start cooking & "to-dos" the night before if I need to get something out of the freezer to defrost.  

Because I try to eat a largely "real" food diet, it takes a little work to make sure I have the things I need to be successful.  I scheduled time each day last week to make: 
  • bread
  • chicken stock
  • cream of mushroom soup
  • cream of chicken soup
  • yogurt
  • black beans
  • refried beans
  • northern beans
  • ranch dressing
This week's scheduled prep plans include:
  • zucchini muffins
  • pumpkin muffins
  • whole wheat bread crumbs
  • chicken nuggets
  • cream of celery soup
And here's the point that I want to remember in all of this flurry of planning & cooking & prepping:  this is how I prefer to do things...it is by no means the only way to do things.  The key is in the planning ahead, in knowing when I have time to make things & when I need to rely on the grocery store. There will be times when my freezer is empty & I don't have all of my homemade staples...but I must still have a plan.  Running to McDonald's does not constitute a plan.

Mini-Goal: No More Maternity Undies  
In the next two weeks I would like to rid my drawers of maternity drawers.  Beside the obvious reason being they are hideous & the granniest of granny panties, they have also seen me through three pregnancies.  They are straight up falling apart.  We're not talking minor holes--we're talking massive holes & swaths where elastic is separated from the fabric & other problems too unmentionable for the world wide web (but if you've had a baby, you probably get the gist of it).  Anyhoo...I want them gone forever.  In two weeks.  I don't care what the scale says, I'm not getting bent out of shape about not working out.  I just want to wear real underwear that couldn't also double as the tattered & torn sails of The Nina, The Pinta or The Santa Maria.


  1. Thank you for your encouragement!! You will do great and look forward to seeing you in your success and help me in my success!

  2. Glad you are back. I am starting this weekend.

  3. I hate those kind of panties too!!