Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Boo Hoo Hoo


Momma always said be careful what you wish for. 

Recently I have been lamenting that I wasn't brave enough to start writing about my process from the very beginning.  As a journal, the flaw lies in missing those moments, both physical & mental that got me to my point now.  As a piece of writing, the flaw lies in the omission of my origins--the mountaintops are made somewhat irrelevant in the absence of valleys.

Essentially, I have been lamenting that I don't have enough negative stuff to document at this point in my journey. Ha ha ha.

Cue body image issues, self doubt, sub-conscious sabotage, raging hormones, a crowded store, more body image issues, Spring Oreos, jealousy, haters, more body image issues, & (most recently) a hip wiggle move in Zumba that sent shock waves through my thighs & me into yet ANOTHER bout of waterworks in public.  *sigh*  This is getting old.

I was having a good workout--probably the first Zumba class at 100% since my knee injury.  I felt great, my blood was pumping & I was excited.  Due to a laundry/laziness issue, I was wearing leggings instead of my usual work-out pants.  Odd that I mention apparel?  Thin fabric + hip wiggle + excess skin = boo hoo hoo

I started bawling with one & a half songs left of class.  I phoned in the last 10 minutes & then I sat & pouted.  Someone asked me if I was ok & then it all started flying out.  A couple of women came by to congratulate me on the article & I started blabbing more.  Extra hoo hoo...flabby hoo hoo...c-section hoo hoo.  Ugh.

I got my wish, now what am I going to do about besides cry?  Hmmmm...

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