Friday, March 11, 2011
Last night, while my husband put our son to bed, I took a bath. Seem unremarkable? It probably should, but...
Old Sara had sworn off baths. Our bathtub is awful. It was made by someone who hates happiness & loves stress. It is narrow & sloped weird at the back end...completely uncomfortable. It is so bad that I vowed that I would not buy another house without climbing in the tub first (Dave sincerely hopes that all tests will be performed in full clothing, but maybe I'll need the true effect...all apologies to any future realtors we might encounter). All of that being said, I can only blame so much of my bathing ban on the tub. Part of the problem was the size of my rump. At my heaviest, I could (*TMI alert*) dam off the back of the tub with my butt. Talk about a bad feeling--mentally & physically!
In an effort to soak some of my sulking away, I lifted the ban, climbed into the tub, stole some of my kids' Mr. Bubble & I just sat. I sat & sat & sat. I brought a book into the bathroom with me, but I didn't even touch it. Honestly I didn't even think, I just sat. I could have sat all night, & would have if I had had the forethought to not run the dishwasher before I drew my bath. It got a little chilly & still I sat.
Somewhere during all of that sitting, in the absence of voices & music & Internet & obligations & food I found myself sitting in the middle contentment. Not complacency, but contentment. Yup, I've got loose skin. Yup, I have no idea if or when it will go away. Yup, I'm scared to death of my next step into fitness as well as thinness. But, I've come a long dam (ha ha ha) way & these hurdles are no bigger than any of the others that I have already cleared, just different. Like I tell my son...everything is different & different is good.
And so, for something completely different from my recent tone, may I present to you, KARAOKE Friday (yes, I just sang it here in the kitchen with the kiddos):