Words of reflection, encouragement, punishment, catharsis, narcissism, humor & accountability from a wife & mother on a journey to reclaim her body & keep her sanity. Sometimes heavy, sometimes light, always real life.
...taking my daughter to swim lessons & not feeling distracted because of swimsuit anxiety.
Of course there are things I would like to change about this ever changing body of mine (sagging extra skin, an Opal resurgence), but the big difference between Old Sara & New Sara is that I'm not consumed by the fear of the swimsuit, the attention to angles, the sprint between towel & pool. With all of that extra mental space, I was free to enjoy some one-on-one time with my daughter & watch her joy at being in the water.
Old Sara (I am ashamed to admit) stopped taking Link to Water Babies at the Y because there was a girl that I vaguely knew from high school in the class with her daughter & I couldn't stand for her to see me in a swimsuit.
New Sara was so care-free that I even stood rump to the wind & put Coraline's cover-up on her before I dove into my towel at the end of class--without even thinking about it!
The final joy of swimming for New Sara? A cheap swimsuit! Plus-size suits are ridiculously expensive, especially ones that are remotely flattering & almost all of the good ones are only available online so you don't really know what you're getting until you've mortgaged your house to pay the shipping. Every year I played that game because I was willing to pay any price for even a shred of comfort in the pool. This year, I got a cheap-o from Old Navy. It's not gorgeous, but it's sufficient & I was able to try it on before bringing it home. Talk about happiness!