Control

Control
(Now I've got a lot)
Control
(To get what I want)

It's Sara...Ms. Miller if you're nasty.  That's right with this little ode to Ms. Jackson (apparently I'M nasty!), I'm having another epiphany.  I didn't realize it until just this morning, but I've been out of control.  By ceasing tracking & "not paying attention" to what I was eating, I had been giving control of my life to food.

I was feeling weary of having to jot down every bite & analyze every choice, & I thought rationalized that I would be less controlled by food if I wasn't thinking about it so much.  Wrong-o. 

In the absence of conscientious choices, I wasn't starving.  I was still eating, I just wasn't making active choices, which often (but not always) leads to poor choices.  I was eating according to the mood of the moment, which is just a whisper away from emotional eating. 

This week I no longer ceded control.  I took it.  I made good & thoughtful choices (read: not all "healthy," but all appropriate & moderate) & I tracked every bite.  Food isn't controlling me when I'm thinking about it, it's controlling me when I'm tricking myself into NOT thinking about. 

I shed 2.6 lbs this week.  In 1.6 lbs I'll be working on "new" weight & in 12.6 lbs I'll be at goal.  Control.