Words of reflection, encouragement, punishment, catharsis, narcissism, humor & accountability from a wife & mother on a journey to reclaim her body & keep her sanity. Sometimes heavy, sometimes light, always real life.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Gluttony
Share
Ah, Gluttony...my favorite of the Seven Deadlies...unless you factor in how lovely it is to say Avarice, then I might have to change my mind. Any-hoo...
I was a freshman in High School when "Seven" came out in theaters & I loved me some Brad Pitt, so I went to see it. I was so blindingly terrified afterward that I crawled in bed with my mother that night to fend off the pound-of-flesh-carving, hooker-stabbing, force-feeding crazies that were surely lurking in our quiet little neighborhood.
I'm feeling blindingly terrified by gluttony again, but I don't think the solution is an awkward slumber party with my mama. This weekend I had a no-holds barred binge--on purpose. And it felt good. Until it didn't & then it felt bad. From Saturday morning at weigh-in to Monday morning, I gained 3 lbs.
The terror comes not from the gain, but from how easy it was to slip back into old habits & how simple & comfortable it felt to eat for entertainment. I was 100% relaxed not having to think about every bite I took. If ever I thought this was something I could master & check-off, I was wrong. Gluttony still knows how to find me & whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I've noticed it never really "goes away". However it does get easier, if you work at it, and the binges get smaller and the good out-weighs the bad. I'm getting better at having a binge 'meal' instead of a whole day, or working any comfort food into my daily or weekly calories. I don't think its totally horrible to let loose every once in a while as long as you know you are getting back on track ASAP. Just want to make sure you plan 'how' you are going to deal with it, instead of letting it defeat you!
ReplyDelete