Saturday, July 9, 2011
Binging & (Verbally) Purging
I've heard it many times from people who have lost weight: "I just can't believe I used to eat like that. It makes me sick to think about it. I just couldn't do that anymore." Now, I will acknowledge that one's digestive track does become accustomed to your typical diet & you can cause yourself some internal strife by making sudden shifts...but I don't think that's what these statements are referring to.
I can't speak for others, but for me, if I were to utter anything resembling the above it would be an out & out lie, said only to make myself seem more pious or righteous among other congregants of "food church." I could eat a whole box of Krispy Kreme then & now. No sweat.
For one of our evening meals in Omaha, we went to a local brewery/restaurant & I decided I wasn't going to think about it, I was just going to eat it. We got the beer sampler, some fried pickles, fresh bread, I had a steak salad sans cheese (but lest you think I was trying to make good choices, I just hate blue cheese) with FULL FAT ranch & I stole some chicken fingers & fries from the kids. I could have kept going. The only thing that stopped me was Dave's disdain for dessert & kids who were "well-done." Otherwise I would have been elbow deep in some red velvet cupcake.
I'm just wired like that. It gives me joy to eat. Maybe you can tie it back to childhood, maybe it's something funny with the chemicals in my brain, maybe my taste buds are ridiculously robust. I don't know what it is, other than a needed reminder that in absence of thinking, for me, there is binge eating. If I want to keep wearing skinny jeans, I best keep my thinking cap on, too!