We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Schlock...

I came up to my desk prepared to write about my inaugural treadmill run, complete with lousy pictures of sweaty Sara to offer up as proof that I put my money where my mouth is (apparently my mouth is at Push, Pedal, Pull...because that's where ALL of my money & some of my dad's is...oof, treadmills are pricey).  In lieu of what would have been mediocre & not that edifying to me personally, I offer this:

Real-time crying pic...thank goodness it's back lit!

"Sara, I have been reading your blog for a little while now. Megan told me about it and I was interested to see what you had to say. Usually I just read what you say and (through laughter or tears - which happens a lot) I think "How is it that she knows exactly what I am thinking/ feeling?". Then I go about my day as usual until the next post. But today I really felt like I had to leave a comment. 1. It was so great to see you last weekend and see in person how ridiculously amazing you look (I am still coveting that sweater coat!) 2. Thank you for congratulating me on my own weight loss without going so over the top that I got uncomfortable 3. But mostly, just thank you... thank you for being brave enough to say everything that you are feeling and allowing the rest of us to feel like there is someone else out there that is going through the same crap and feeling the same way and that it is totally normal. I am coming up on my own 100 lbs mark and I know that I owe it to you, if you hadn't started your journey then Megan wouldn't have started when she did and I know that I would be sitting here eating a super sized value meal for lunch instead of my protein bar and fruit. Apparently, I just decided to save up all of my posts for one long post now. Sorry about that, but I wanted to make sure that you know what a difference you have made in my life and I am sure other lives as well. Again, THANK YOU!!"

Excuse me while I go get a SECOND fistful of tissues (also, as an aside: this made Dave cry at his cube at work--sucker!).  I'm not posting this to brag on myself & hopefully the commenter (who is someone that I know in the "real" world) doesn't mind, but I was absolutely knocked to the ground with emotions & I knew I had to say this...

I would lose every pound again, I would have this process take two MORE years on top of what I have already done, I would struggle & slog through every bad habit & every bit of negative self-talk to think that I could really have had even a fraction of that impact on another person's life.  Across the board, the comments & encouragements on Monday's post have overwhelmed me with joy & hope & something brand new: purpose.  Yup, I'm about to lay down some philosophy. 

I believe that individual lives have purpose & finding that purpose--that thing that lights your fire & sparks your soul--that's what life is all about.  Everyone has a different purpose & most people have multiple.  This is one of mine & I just had that a-ha moment this very second.  Thank you (all of you who have waded through this with me) for giving me the gift of purpose.  I can't say enough how much it means to me...& there I go crying again.  At least in my line of work my "office mates" think crying is part of a regular workday.  Chalk it up as a rather unglamorous albeit appreciated perk of being a stay at home mom.