Monday, April 25, 2011
I've been thinking about my declaration of goal weight: 134 lbs. I had hoped that picking a finish line would give me a boost & perk up my waning enthusiasm of late, & it did. I'm pretty excited about it & feel renewed energy to get to the end...now that I know what the end is.
It's a pretty random number, 134. I Googled "134" & learned about Form I-134...it has something to do with immigration. I also learned about IBEW Local 134...you can pay your dues online. Wiki told me about the Year 134...a law was passed in Rome that improved conditions for free workers...wait did they have free workers in Rome in 134?
Anyway, all of my new useless, skin-deep information aside, why did I choose 134 lbs? With a starting weight of 269 lbs, it's the closest whole number to half my starting weight. Why is that important? Here goes...
Like many young ladies, I used to feel that no plane ride was complete without a fresh stash of fluff magazines. One particular plane ride (it was either in late high school or early college...loooong before I reached 269 lbs) my stack included a "People" magazine. It happened to be their annual "Half My Size" issue. I remember sitting on the plane & reading the article & thinking "someday, that will be me." But I wasn't looking at the smiling "after" pictures & visualizing a fit healthy me. I was looking at the glum "before" pictures, expecting a life of obesity before it even began.
Over a decade later, I want to reclaim that moment & say "that will be me" for all of the right reasons. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't ever fantasized about being in the issue--it's one of the mental images that pushes me when I'm drooling over a Krispy Kreme or wanting to flake out on a work-out--but honestly, it's not about that, it's about that moment, that girl on the airplane & her plans & expectations for her life. I want to redeem that moment & that girl. That girl will be an "after," no longer a "before."