Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Me & My Shadow
As a kid I spent countless hours watching Mary Martin's "Peter Pan" crowing about the wonders of his/her shadow. As an adult I spent countless hours avoiding looking at my own.
As an obese/overweight woman, I learned how to avoid full length mirrors, reflective glass & clear lakes, but I could never seem to shake my shadow. And though it was sometimes distorted, it was always there & it was always a horrible reminder of my body's burgeoning shape. For some reason my eyes couldn't really see in the mirror what was obvious in a shadow--the bulges, the lumps, the girth. The shadow never allowed me to lie to myself the way a mirror did.
I was at the park with my kids the other day (& yes, my three year old & one year old both mastered the slide that very same day) & I realized that I love my shadow! It may have been the lengthening from late day sunlight, it may have been the jeggings that have just the right amount of support, but whatever it was, I was enthralled. If my shadow had been a pond, like Narcissus, I would have drowned.
I hadn't actively thought about hating or trying to avoid my shadow, but now that it's reflecting a new me (one that is now distorted the opposite direction in my mirror), all I can say is "I've gotta crow!"