Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Sweet Coraline (whoa, whoa, whoa)


Sorry, Neil.  Your classic has been remastered & at our house there is no such thing as Caroline, just a beautiful little girl named Coraline.  In honor of her first birthday, a little on-topic love note to my girl.

Celebrating 1st Birthday/1st Anniversary with some little blue boxes!

Dear Coraline,

One year ago today you finally graced us with your presence.  Surely your tardiness was a sign of the opinionated, vocal girl you already were.  On February 16, 2010, three little words changed my life forever: "It's a girl!"

While you were growing inside me, I had often thought of how I was going to finally lose my weight "when the baby came."  In retrospect, those thoughts were no different than previous iterations: once it's summer, when I turn 25, when we move, when the moon is in the seventh house & Jupiter aligns with Mars.  Peace would have had a better shot at guiding the planets than me actually making good on the promises I was continuing to make to myself.

You changed everything, dear girl.  With three little words, there was so much more at stake.  It wasn't just about being pretty, it wasn't just about being healthy (though that should have been enough--for you & for Lincoln if not for myself), it wasn't just about being active--it was about being a role model.

Somehow I had been able to compartmentalize my responsibilities for Lincoln.  As a boy, I thought it was Daddy's responsibility to teach him how to be healthy & active & celebrate his beautiful body.  I now understand how wrong that was & I feel sorry every day for the behavior I previously modeled for your brother.  But, if Lincoln was Daddy's job, it followed that you would be mine.

What a magnificent responsibility it is to shepherd you from girl to woman; a weighty task for a weighty life.  My most sincere hope is that I bring you up with a modeled attitude of respect & appreciation for your body. You have a beautiful body, Coraline, perfectly created start to finish.  Within your body is promise, the promise of all of the wonderful things you will do: running, hitting a home run, tap dancing, digging, playing a drum, doing a cartwheel, walking across a stage to get a diploma, walking down an aisle to chose a partner, having your own perfect baby, becoming the fourth woman president.  All of these...none of's your choice & your beautiful body is the vessel to get you to these things & so much more.  Cherish your body, be it lumpy or lean, tall or squat.  Take good care & love every inch that it may grow & be strong & work hard for you, carrying you to your every dream.

Thank you so much for reminding me that I, too have a body that needs to be cared for & nurtured.  You helped me see what a precious gift I was squandering.  It seems odd to burden you with such a mantle, but you saved my life, sweet baby. 

Happy Birthday, Coraline Dara!  Mi vida.

I love you now & forever,


  1. Happy Birthday Baby Girl! We loved getting the valentine from you and brother! AH, OH, AH

  2. WOW! Your letter to your daughter brought me to tears. Tears of sadness for myself and not celebrating my own body. Tears of joy for you have changed the legacy of your family. I have yet to have my own children but have thought of the role model I will be and how I am for my nephews now. After years of ups and downs, I finally feel like my head is in the game where my heart tried to pick up the slack. Thank you for sharing your journey with those of us out there to read it, those of us that are oh so similar to yourself. Thank you!