25 Reasons I'm Changing My Life

Last night I was so blue that I was cerulean.  Going to my weigh-in this morning was the hardest thing I have done in this process, hands down.  I hadn't really kept tabs on my weight with the scale throughout the week, but I had kept tabs on my behavior & I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

In bed last night, I tried to think of every conceivable excuse to NOT go.  This list included such classics as "it's too late, I'll be too tired," & "we don't have Lincoln tonight so it might be nice to spend some time with just Dave in the morning before Coraline gets up," & (my personal favorite) "I probably have Bordetella & it's probably catching...better not infect anyone else."  I cried all the way there & sat in the parking lot contemplating all of the errands I could run while I was pretending to go to my meeting.  But I did go in & I faced the music, to the tune of a little ditty I like to call "The 2.4 Pound Waltz."  But then, wouldn't you know the meeting topic was "Motivation"--just like bathing, it doesn't last forever, so you just have to keep on doing it.

Pam encouraged us to think of a list of 25 reasons that we want to shed pounds & I knew immediately that I had to do just that.  So here, in no particular order, are the 25 Reasons I'm Changing My Life:

1. I want to model healthy womanhood for my daughter.
2. I want to kick my back pain to the curb.
3. I want to feel worthy of walking into a sporting goods store.
4. I want to achieve longevity.
5. I want to achieve longevity with quality.
6. I want to wear tall boots & high heels.
7. I want to decrease my risk of breast cancer.
8. Speaking of boobs, I want them to have a higher profile than my stomach.
9. I want to order food in a restaurant without feeling judged by the server.
10. I want to decrease my sky-high risk of diabetes.
11. I want to wear tank tops.
12. I want to shop for clothes in more than two select stores.
13. I want to walk into a room of new people & not wish for a sink hole to swallow me.
14. I want to sit in my favorite chair & not feel my hips rubbing both arms.
15. I want to ride on an airplane without swapping butt sweat with strangers.
16. I want to watch my hubby's races without feeling like I'm unworthy of being his wife.
17. Speaking of my hubby, I want to stop worrying that others feel we're "mismatched."
18. I want to maintain my awesome blood pressure.
19. I want to try new foods.
20. I want to set my children up with healthy habits.
21. I want to get dressed without tears, the wiggle dance, or laying down to zip my pants.
22. I want to wave & not worry about arm jiggle.
23. I want my children to be proud of me.
24. I want my husband to be proud of me.
25. I want to be proud of me.

This week wasn't pretty, but it wasn't the end of the world.  As I turned off the car & wiped up my tears to walk inside, I said (out loud) to myself, "I am not defined by one s#!^&y week."  And I'm not.  I'm defined by 25 awesome reasons that I'm changing my life.