Last night I was so blue that I was cerulean. Going to my weigh-in this morning was the hardest thing I have done in this process, hands down. I hadn't really kept tabs on my weight with the scale throughout the week, but I had kept tabs on my behavior & I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.
In bed last night, I tried to think of every conceivable excuse to NOT go. This list included such classics as "it's too late, I'll be too tired," & "we don't have Lincoln tonight so it might be nice to spend some time with just Dave in the morning before Coraline gets up," & (my personal favorite) "I probably have Bordetella & it's probably catching...better not infect anyone else." I cried all the way there & sat in the parking lot contemplating all of the errands I could run while I was pretending to go to my meeting. But I did go in & I faced the music, to the tune of a little ditty I like to call "The 2.4 Pound Waltz." But then, wouldn't you know the meeting topic was "Motivation"--just like bathing, it doesn't last forever, so you just have to keep on doing it.
Pam encouraged us to think of a list of 25 reasons that we want to shed pounds & I knew immediately that I had to do just that. So here, in no particular order, are the 25 Reasons I'm Changing My Life:
- I want to model healthy womanhood for my daughter.
- I want to kick my back pain to the curb.
- I want to feel worthy of walking into a sporting goods store.
- I want to achieve longevity.
- I want to achieve longevity with quality.
- I want to wear tall boots & high heels.
- I want to decrease my risk of breast cancer.
- Speaking of boobs, I want them to have a higher profile than my stomach.
- I want to order food in a restaurant without feeling judged by the server.
- I want to decrease my sky-high risk of diabetes.
- I want to wear tank tops.
- I want to shop for clothes in more than two select stores.
- I want to walk into a room of new people & not wish for a sink hole to swallow me.
- I want to sit in my favorite chair & not feel my hips rubbing both arms.
- I want to ride on an airplane without swapping butt sweat with strangers.
- I want to watch my hubby's races without feeling like I'm unworthy of being his wife.
- Speaking of my hubby, I want to stop worrying that others feel we're "mismatched."
- I want to maintain my awesome blood pressure.
- I want to try new foods.
- I want to set my children up with healthy habits.
- I want to get dressed without tears, the wiggle dance, or laying down to zip my pants.
- I want to wave & not worry about arm jiggle.
- I want my children to be proud of me.
- I want my husband to be proud of me.
- I want to be proud of me.