Words of reflection, encouragement, punishment, catharsis, narcissism, humor & accountability from a wife & mother on a journey to reclaim her body & keep her sanity. Sometimes heavy, sometimes light, always real life.
We all have boxes of clothes that we saved for "Someday" when we will be able to wear them again. I moved with my Someday boxes THREE times, clinging to the idea that Someday I would magically fit into all of those nice clothes. And man alive did I have boxes. I worked at Gap for a few years in college & I accumulated quite a collection of Gap, Old Navy & Banana Republic (thanks to the good old cross-company discount). Add that to my out of control spending that coincided with my previous smallest adult size & I had boxes & boxes of stuff.
When we moved to our current house, I decided to get brutal with the boxes. In a fit of "reality"--in hindsight, it was more like surrender--I thinned the herd & culled it down to the "best" items. Over the past year, as I have cracked the remaining boxes open to allow the saved treasures to have their Someday, I can't count the number of times I have said, "What the frick was I thinking when I saved THIS?" If I didn't know that I was pregnant when last I opened those boxes, I would have to assume that I had been horribly drunk. In any given size, I would have a collection that looked like this:
2 hoochy bar tops
8 pairs of Gap jeans
1 frumpy corduroy skirt
3 bulky sweaters
2 pairs of dress slacks
1 chain link belt
Did I think I would be spending Someday on a job interview...at a bar...in Greenland? To make matters worse, none, I repeat NONE of the items actually went together. It was an atrocity. As I've moved down in sizes, I've kept a few things out of my Someday boxes & cobbled them together with a few pieces that I've purchased & I'm not running naked through the streets, but that's no thanks to Old Sara who used zero perspective when saving the Someday clothes. Turns out that Someday's arrival at age 31 after two babies makes the bedazzled, slit-up, safety-pinned tops a little impractical for trips to the park & story time at the library.
Today is my last Someday: the day that I put on my final item of Someday clothes. These are the jeans that I actually never put into a box. They stayed in my closet because they were favorites--kept out as a reminder (or maybe a punishment) for 10 years. Today, I'm wearing them & I'm done with Somedays. From here on out, every day is just Today & Tomorrow gets to be a new Today to be fulfilled, not a Someday to be wished for.
Even though they are dated, these jeans feel gooooood. Now, to find a bar that caters to mismatched SAHMs with delusions of youth...